Marriage Monday- Children

I am not going to talk about our children.

We have them, four of them, and they saturate our lives with joy and frustration and giggles and sometimes tears.

But although so much of our lives revolve around them, we do not.

When I think about what my children need from us, I think of the times my husband and I spend on the porch, hands linked together.  I think about little faces peering through the window from within, when they should be in bed.  I think of waving my hand at them, communicating that this is my turn with Daddy.  Time to be in bed.

I picture their happy little faces when we say it’s date night in for  us and put them to bed early.

No one fusses.  No one pouts.  They feel secure in that tradition.  And so do I.

It’s our time to build our family stronger, to go back to the brief time it was just us, to become friends and lovers and partners, and not just mom and dad.  We talk of the kids (of course) and of bad moments and good moments in our day.  We dream and promise and laugh and snuggle and watch the neighborhood go to sleep.

It’s our time.  And at the same time, it’s a gift to our children.  For they go to sleep knowing how important we are to each other, how our marriage has center stage, how the foundation of our family is secure.

That’s what our children need from us.

Join us for Marriage Monday over at E-Mom’s and Marriage Mondays at Come Have a Peace.


Marital Spring- Marriage Monday

Life protests
death and starts
a riot underground
uncontained and so
it breaks out
everywhere
(every hairline crack of pavement a
breeding ground for insurrection)
spreading
far and wide
up and down
until the whole
wide earth
brims full
and wild
and hidden in it manifold
flowers
fade and knot
into fruit
nut
seed
drawing life into
themselves
to give it
back
a thousandfold

~Mark Buchanan Spiritual Rhythm

Photo credit: Rev Stan

Marriage has its own seasons.
I’ve experienced the deadening of winter
and come through to the other side:
Cold to break-through warmth,
stark grays to color untamed,
harsh winds to soul-cleansing breezes,
tight fists to open palms.

I ache for those who,
after curling up,
 giving up,
 in winter-marriages,
never make it to spring,
who allow death to win
and steal oneness
and joint dreams.
The green is brighter with each spring,
each winter more tolerable than the last,
for the knowledge of life
lying beneath the surface,
of even seemingly dead, naked ground,
carries lovers through,
opens eyes to truth,
and extinguishes death’s lie.

What was empty brims full to give back.


And so it is with love.





Linking up to Chrysalis


Marriage Monday- Emotions

(For today’s topic go here.)

There was once a couple who had been married 45 years. The woman had always been bothered by the fact that her husband never told her he loved her. “I tell him every day I love him, why doesn’t he ever say it back?” So on their 45th anniversary she decided the time had come to ask him. His response?

“I told you I love you 45 years ago and if I change my mind, I’ll let you know.”

There’s a difference between generalizing and stereotyping. Stereotyping is when a husband says, “That’s just like a woman!”, when his wife starts crying. Generalizing is an objective way of looking at the reality of relationships and noticing patterns. Though I’m sure that there are marriages where the husband is more emotionally demonstrative than the wife, I don’t know of one. So today, I’ll be generalizing…

In my experience, both in my own marriage and the other marriages I know relatively well, the wife is the one who is more emotional. In our marriage, there’s never any doubt where I am on the emotional spectrum (and I have a wiiiiiiide spectrum) on any given day. I have a hard time keeping in what I’m feeling, either good or bad. Jason on the other hand is very stoic. There are often times I am so unsure about what he’s feeling that I hound him about it until he does display an emotion- frustration that I won’t leave him alone.

One incident in paticular stands out in my mind when I think about the difference between Jason and me. While looking out of our kitchen window one evening Jason said, “That’s a nice sunset.” I came over and looked out the window too and said, “Wow! That’s a beautiful sunset!!!!” (Note the amount of exclamation marks…) With a sigh Jason said, “No, Christine, it’s only a nice sunset.” Can you tell he is sometimes exasperated at my tendency toward the dramatic?

There is plenty in scripture to guard against losing control of your negative emotions. Being hot-tempered, giving vent to your anger, letting your tongue wag mercilessly, all get lots of “airtime” in Proverbs especially. I haven’t found much to specifically encourage being prudent about showing positive emotion, but I think being too demonstrative can be construed the wrong way at times. Wisdom and discernment are needed in all of our interactions. For “the heart is deceitful above all things” and emotion does not necessarily reflect reality.

I think I will always have trouble controlling my emotions. On the flip side, I think Jason will never find it easy to show his. I can find stability in his ways and he can find freedom in mine. The balance is a gift.

What about you? Where do you fall on the spectrum? How do you interact with your husband?

Do tell…

Marriage Monday- Mentoring

Someone to share the struggles and joys of marriage with. Someone who’s “been there, done that” and lived to tell the tale. Someone who can guide us through each marital season with grace and love.

Do you have a mentor wife? Do you and your husband have a couple further along on their marriage journey than you are?

Or are you a mentor to another wife? Does someone look to you for guidance along this road?

In this day and age, “community” has a completely different meaning than in the generations before us. We live in a fractured society- families move away from each other for work or other reasons, people come home after a long day and drive into their garage outfitted with the best garage door opener, since we are so lazy that we don’t open our own doors. We are suspect of anyone we don’t know. Gone are the days of extended family all living within walking distance of each other, or of neighborhoods that become sources of intimate connection. These things are no longer the norm. The Titus 2 commands of Bible times must be accomplished in different ways than it was then. We must be more intentional about giving and receiving encouragement and wisdom.

A good friend of mine, a woman I have known since college, one of the most spiritually connected women I know, had a distorted view of Christian womanhood growing up. It wasn’t until she met and married a godly man that she found her mentor. The woman who became her mother-in-law took her under her wing and guided her in the early years of her marriage. The bond they now share is closer than that of many blood-related mothers and daughters.

I have had a few women mentor me in my journey. They have not been much older than me, in fact, but have been spiritually older. I am a mere 14 years old in Christ and do often feel like the spiritual adolescent that I am. I look up to women who grew up in Christian homes and are more grounded in their faith than I. I have friends who come from a long line of Christian wives- women who had a clear godly vision of marriage from the start. I enjoy sharing with them, listening to them, and gaining wisdom and understanding from their perspective.

Ideally, what I would love to have is an older woman, someone with kids who are grown, to consciously take me as her spiritual daughter. In my ideal mentoring relationship I would meet this woman for lunch at least once a month and share my trials in a God-, and husband-, honoring way with the intention of growing by listening to her counsel. This would be someone to hold my hand when I cry and share a piece of chocolate cake when there is something to celebrate. Someone who, along with her husband, would have Jason and I over for dinner occasionally and tell stories of her past and the lessons she learned in the process.

I have found a little of that here in the blog world. Lyric has often sent me encouraging emails of the “this too shall pass” variety and they are treasures that remain in my inbox for long after they were received. I visit the blogs of other wiser women than myself and grab a nugget here and there to savor throughout my travels as a mom and wife.

What has made me most intrigued in recent years is the number of women who seem to see me as an encouragement, a wiser woman to learn from. This takes me by surprise every time and causes me to not take lightly my influence as a church leader, blogger and friend. I pray that I will be godly in my advice and always have a ready ear and shoulder when needed.

We all need someone with whom we can be real and admit that things aren’t perfect. Someone who has weathered storms, reached milestones, and shared life experiences with their spouses- ones we will eventually go through.

How about you? Do you have this someone? Share your thoughts!

 

Marriage Monday- Reminiscing


You can find the topic for this week’s MM here.

On my first day of classes, at a college over a thousand miles from home, I sat quietly in our rehearsal hall ready to sing in the show choir that I had auditioned for the previous weekend. The director, “Doc”, came in, greeted us warmly and said he had a treat for us. He had a new singer, a stunning voice, that he wanted us to hear. In walked in a young, thin freshman with striking light blue eyes. He sang a song for us (what it was I no longer remember) and it was simply beautiful. Little did I know then that the tenor at the front of that class was eventually to be my husband.

Jason and I sang in that choir together for the year barely getting to know each other beyond the normal pleasantries that schoolmates share. We shared a microphone and even danced together in concerts on occasion but it wasn’t until the end of the year that we took interest in one another. We began dating the summer after freshman year. He liked that I was good at music theory and could help him with his homework; I liked that I was needed. We were pretty immature. After a few months, we broke up and went our separate ways.

We sang in concerts and operas togetherthroughout college, even attending the same summer program in Salzburg, Austria. I dated someone else for a couple of years, but never forgot Jason. I even wrote a poem or two about him in the years between freshman year and when we started dating again years later.

After he graduated and I was in the 5th year of a double major, he asked me to sing at his church on Easter. He tells me now that was a ploy to ask me out. I had been single, and so had he, for a while, so the weekend after the services he took me out to dinner and the rest is history.

I see now how perfectly our personalities match like aries and cancer. They are not the same, but complementary. When we met I liked his reserve, since I was pretty boisterous. He liked my nurturing nature, since he had lost his mom early in life. I’m a rule-follower, he breaks the rules I try to follow. We joke that if we had attended highschool together I would have been the girl in the poodle skirt in the front row, apple on my desk and he would have been in the back throwing spitballs. By far the thing that most links us together is our love of music. No one understands either of us like each other. My mom says we speak another language when music comes up in the conversation, and we like it that way. It is something special we will always be able to share.

We now also share a love for our children, and the dailiness of a life together. We have plans for retirement (lots of golf and lots of traveling; painting lessons for me, a Harley for him) and look forward to lots of grandchildren. Through the ups and downs, there’s no one with whom I’d rather share my life. He is my best friend. And his voice still makes me melt.

I’d love to hear your story! Why did God choose your husband for you? Link up to your post below.

 

Marriage Monday- The Future


She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue…Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Me-then: I’ve often wondered when you would seek me out. It took you longer than I expected.

Me-now: Life is so busy and I am just trying to make it day by day. I hadn’t even given you a thought until now.

Me-then: (smiling) Thanks a lot. These days won’t last forever, though, you know that. You are in a tough season.

Me-now: Yes, it has taken its toll. I’m feeling my age a bit, and so is Jason.

Me-then: Ah, yes. (laughs) I remember when we felt tired all the time. I’m tired now, but in a different way.

Me-now: When does the “wisdom” happen?

Me-then: The wisdom?

Me-now: Like in scripture, the Proverbs 31 woman. I don’t feel very wise- in my marriage, with my kids, nothing.

Me-then: I don’t know, really. I don’t feel much more wise now but I do feel more accepting. You need to get to that point, but you can’t do it alone.

Me-now: You’re right. But I don’t know where to begin. I feel like Jason and I are barely getting by even being civil some days. I long for the days when I can have control over my life, and my temper, again.

Me-then: Did you really ever have control? Think about it. The more you seek control the less you spend time with God and thus the less you feel in control. One of the best things I have learned over the years is that control is an illusion. A man-made fantasy that separates us from our Heavenly Father.

Me-now: So you’re telling me I’ll never have any control over Jason? Kidding, kidding… But seriously, will I ever feel free of the desire to change him? I know in my head that I don’t want him to be like me, that we’re a wonderful match just the way we are, but sometimes, in the stress of life, it’s hard to remember.

Me-then: You will certainly get closer. I am reaping the rewards now of thousands of hours alone with Him- Him the Eternal Bridegroom, not our earthly one. Go easy on yourself, ask God to let you see Jason through His eyes, have fun in your home. This season shall pass and the benefits of sticking it out will make themselves known.

Me-now: I do find that now, eight years into my marriage, I wouldn’t want to go back to the beginning. I love Jason much more now than I did on our honeymoon. Time makes things more beautiful, not less.

Me-then: That’s very wise for someone who feels that wisdom eludes her. The best advice I can give you? Be thankful. For the little things. Every day. Married life is full of gifts, many that are small, but none that are insignificant.

Me-now: Thanks. I’ve enjoyed your perspective. I have to go now. Got a family to tend to.

Me-then: Yes, times have changed. You’re living day to day what I own as mere memories. Don’t let it all slip away unnoticed.

Marriage Monday- Back to the Basics

“I’m grim and grumpy”, said little Small,
“and I don’t think you love me at all.”
“Oh, Small”, said Large, “grumpy or not, I’ll always love you,
no matter what.”

Thus begins the book No Matter What by Debi Gliori. Large’s response to Small basically sums up, with childlike innocence, the basic truth behind our wedding vows. We promised to love our spouse at their most unlovable, in whatever circumstance, and we did so in the presence, and with the blessing, of God.

In practice, however, how has this promise fulfilled itself in your marriage? When sickness, poorer and worse struck for the first time (and all the times after that) what did you learn of your spouse? Of yourself? Did it become harder to love and cherish?

Our throwaway society says our own happiness should be our goal, and we should do all within our power, and at the expense of our vows, to reach it. When your spouse doesn’t make you happy, they’re not fulfilling their end of the bargain. Why not find a new one? This article speaks of a trend in vows that no longer assumes “forever”, but rather expresses conditional love. It is a sad, but telling, article.

A friend of mine has mentioned the shock she felt when, 5 months after their wedding, her husband was hospitalized for serious heart concerns. She was a newlywed. In sickness and in health shouldn’t have been tested so soon! She admits this rocked their young marriage and thrust them into the heart of their commitment sooner than it otherwise would have. That was when they understood their vows for the first time.

Jason and I had a time of worse actually before we even exchanged vows. The week before our wedding we had a heated conflict with his family. It became so hostile that his stepmother did not attend the wedding and his father refused to throw the rehearsal dinner. My mother is surprised to this day that amidst all the stress Jason did not stand me up at the altar. He chose to honor our vows before they were even spoken. That sense of commitment and loyalty has remained. He would say the same of me.

We have had some wonderful times of health, richer and better as well. Of course it is easier to play the role of the perfect spouse, the godly spouse, when conflict is not present. In our premarital appointments, our counselor told us that it is not when things are going well that there is trouble. It is not even when one spouse is going through a stressful time that trouble looms. It is when both in the marital relationship are struggling that disaster can strike. Those are the times when marriages break down.

I have learned more about myself in the trying times of marriage than the easy times. Marriage is a place where we are all made humble, for none of us “does it right”. I continue to learn to forgive as God forgives, and to seek forgiveness as well. In the book of John, Jesus says, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (16:33)

We shouldn’t define our marriages by the flaws and the mistakes, but rather the turnings toward one another that follow. The “basics”- loving in sickness and health, for richer and poorer, for better or worse- are really not basic at all. They are ways we aim to love as God loves, however feebly and unsuccessfully.

I pray that today you will celebrate your victories, pat each other on the back for your successes and in the future will continue to seek God during the times of trial. The longer we are married, the more those mere words break free of their ritualistic garb and become a part of who we are.

Marriage Monday- Beyond the Challenge


What have I learned from this challenge? That no marriage is perfect.

Let me repeat that…

No marriage is perfect.

Not your friend’s marriage; not your pastor’s marriage; not the marriage of the seemingly put-together couple down the street. No one’s.

I have also learned that all of us need to know this. There are over 125 women signed up for this challenge and they are all at varying stages. Some of you signed up at the beginning and some just last week. There is something important in desiring to be a wife worthy of the title…and we all inherently know it. We all also know that we don’t fit the bill. I hope most of all, though, we realize that we are forgiven our failures and cheered on to keep running the race by the Author of Life Himself!

Carol Brazo speaks of attending a wedding with her son:

Caught up in my thoughts, I failed to listen to Noah. His voice rose, clearly heard for several rows. “Mom, you aren’t listening. I want to know why anyone would do this?”

Brides and bridegrooms. Agonies and ecstacies. Better or worse. Richer or poorer. Sickness and health. Why indeed?

The emotions of marriage are such that we are often richer when we are financially poorer, better when the worst is occuring, and healthier in some areas while suffering illness. Why would anyone consciously choose the roller coaster experience of marriage? Of two learning to become one?

…I want him to understand that it is a marvelous mystery. That somehow it is a picture of Christ and His Church.

A couple of weeks ago while leading a book study at church on a Sunday morning and friend expressed the surprise and disappointment she felt the first time her marriage came to a valley. We discussed how in tough times we can actually feel strong dislike, even hatred, toward the one we have chosen to love above all others. How can this be?, we all wondered. We continued our conversation and agreed that it is only beyond those valleys that the mountaintops of marriage really mean something. We can pursue deeper meaning and spiritual and emotional connection with our husbands when we have weathered a storm (or two or twenty). The natural ups and downs of marriage can be opportunities, if we choose to see them as such, for growth toward our spouse and toward our Father.

To be honest, if I had known that our little Zachary would crank up the volume on his colic so drastically over the last month, I probably wouldn’t have begun this challenge. There’s no way I can smile and say that everything has been perfect for me throughout this challenge. I have not always been the wife I want to be. But God knew what He was doing in planting the seed for this project. He wanted us to encourage each other, in all of our different stages of marriage. He wanted me to be conscious of my every action and attitude, even in the midst of a quarrel. He wanted to show me the other side of this little valley. We are not alone in our struggles and we have celebrated each others triumphs!

I have been reminded recently of a scene in the movie Parenthood in which Grandma describes her favorite ride…

Grandma: You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.

Gil: Oh?

Grandma: Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!

Gil: What a great story.

Grandma: I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together!
Some didn’t like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing.

I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.

And so we do. We get more out of our marriage as we accept the downs and enjoy the ups, and most of all that we keep coming back for more and never give up. I pray that you have been blessed in your marriage this past month. I pray that you have created habits that will continue. I pray unity for you and your husbands and I thank you for taking this journey with me!


But wait, don’t go yet! Just as the Master paid each worker a full day’s wage regardless of how long they worked in His field, I, also, will include everyone in the drawing for the book Sacred Marriage which I have quoted throughout this challenge. Many of you have only begun a week or two ago and I encourage you to keep your 30 days going and link up with your progress each Monday until you are finished. I will announce the winner of the book on Friday.

Blessings on your marriage!

Marriage Monday- Roles (and a challenge too!)

    • What is your definition of a traditional marriage? Do you consider yours to be traditional or contemporary?

 

  • What scriptures do you turn to (if any) when determining your role in your marriage?

 

 

  • In the sharing of duties in your home (childcare, work, house cleaning), are you and your husband satisfied with the way things get done? If not, how would you or he like it to change?

 

My parents have a traditional marriage. They do not have a Christian marriage, so the two are not inseparable characteristics. I know of Christian marriages that are nontraditional as well. For me, a traditional marriage means that the wife primarily cares for the family and the home, and the husband is the primary provider for the family. For me a biblical traditional marriage means that there is a distinction in the hierarchy of the family relationships. The husband takes on a servant-leadership role as the head of the family and the wife joyfully and willfully supports that leadership. This is not necessarily a popular marital relationship in today’s society, though in Christian circles it is certainly more common.

I consider our marriage to be a traditional one and Jason and I both like it that way. Neither of us make big decisions without the other’s consent, but if we are at odds about something I usually accept Jason’s decision. If I still strongly disagree, we will talk about it in private and see if we can compromise so that we both are satisfied with the final decision. We try not to argue in front of the children, though occasionally we “forget” this rule. I consider my main jobs to be those of wife and mom. It is important for me to be able to cook meals, care for our home (though housecleaning is farther down on the priority list than family or homeschooling, so it often takes a backseat, hey, I’m not a deluxemaid robot! ) , organize the family’s activities, and teach our children. At this point I also work part time. I hope someday to be able to stay home full time, but working at a church allows me to work from home, take the kids with me, and have a flexible schedule, so I can easily put my family first. Jason works full time as a college professor and also part time at the church as organist and co-music and arts director. He also cares for the outside of the home, car issues and most big financial issues, though I do the monthly bills. Jason helps out a lot with the kids in terms of bedtimes, taking them to and from activities, and playtime. He dislikes the baby stage, however. Once the kids turn 6 months, he’s much happier. He has yet to change Zachary’s diaper, and that doesn’t bother me a bit.

Many of these things are superficial and don’t make or break a traditional marriage arrangement. I think it is our attitude in marriage that counts the most. Do my kids see me as a servant to my family? Does my husband feel respected in our home? Is Christ being honored by our relationship?

A few of the scriptures I look to for my role in marriage are:

    • Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the savior…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Eph. 5:22-3, 25, 33)

 

  • Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. (Eph. 4:2-3)

 

 

  • The Woman of Noble Character, Proverbs 31:10-31

 

Jason and I read Rocking the Roles together last year and the authors gave wonderful definitions of both old-style traditional and what he terms “roleless” marriages and then contrasted both of them against the biblical design for marriage. He states the problems with the traditional 50’s style marriage as:

    • absentee/workaholic fathers

 

  • devalued women- wives “were neither esteemed nor challenged”

 

 

  • mutual tolerance- a disconnected marriage, completely different from the “one flesh” marriage of the bible

 

He then describes the flaws in the current trend toward “roleless” and “egalitarian” marriages.

“Marriage is an organization. And like any organization, large or small, it can succeed only by accepting the timeless principle that the partners carry out complementary [not ‘same’] functions. In other words, marriages work best when the partners have roles.”

 

“Is there any historical precedent for the roleless marriage? The answer is no…Every known society, past or present, assigns to the men a primary responsibility for the government of the larger groupings within a society, and assigns to the women a preimary responsibility for the daily maintenance of the household unit and the care of the younger children.”

 

The Bible is very clear about how marriage should be organized…the husband is responsible for a specific kind of leadership. Meanwhile the wife is responsible for a specific kind of support and nurture…Second, instead of diminishing gender distinctions, the Bible insists on them.” God created both man and woman to as a couple reflect His image.

I could go on, but this wasn’t meant to be a review of the book, though Jason and I both got a lot out of it and enjoyed reading it together.
Do I think all marriages need to follow the same exact blueprint? No. Do I believe that Christian marriages have more potential for intimacy and oneness with the biblical blueprint. Yes. Even in my marriage with two flawed people making daily mistakes, having this same ideal keeps us on one path.

How about you? How would you answer these questions? Post on your blog and link back here to share with others. Otherwise, leave your thoughts on the comments page.

 

 


And now for the Challenge!

Beginning June 18 I will be hosting the

Honor Your Husband 30-Day Challenge.

I hope you will prayerfully consider joining with me and other women as we place a day-to-day emphasis on choosing to honor and respect our husbands in our words and actions. Who knows, it might just become a habit!

Look for the exact guidelines on the 18th, spread the word and come back and link up. You will not have to post on the Marriage Monday topic each week to update us on your progress. At the end of the challenge I will randomly choose a participant to receive a gift from me to your marriage!

Marriage Monday- Vacations, dates and other times away


Our neighbors recently went away just the two of them, without their children. When they returned and we were all spending time outside with all of the kids she said, “I’d forgotten that we really get along when the kids aren’t with us!”

Times away from the everyday routine, whether we have kids or not, is essential to a healthy marriage. These breaks can manifest themselves as planned vacations (with or without kids), dates, or retreats together. My parents, while unable to ever take vacations together because of work schedules, did plan regular date nights. My mom says the time in their lives when they were able to get away regularly to a restaurant to talk and reconnect was welcomed as an important part of their lives together. Sometimes we visit some burnaby condos for sale just to made the trip and maybe relocate later in time.

Jason and I took our first vacation together when we were dating. It was an impromptu trip to Disney World, which was 4 hours away from where we went to college. I remember that trip and others up until the time we had kids as times of discovery. The car trips and plane trips were filled with conversations and the peeling back of the layers of ourselves we didn’t yet know. I never read a book and Jason never opened a study score, instead we talked and laughed and made up silly stories. Occasionally I would read aloud as he drove somewhere. It was part of the early phase of our relationship.

Once we were married and had children, our vacations were mainly to visit family, which was all out-of-state. Those kind of trips were much different. We had logistical issues surrounding the children, car trips weren’t nearly as free and enjoyable, and we had little time alone together. Over the years we have realized the importance of taking a weekend here and there for just us. We have been on marriage retreat weekends, taken trips to choral conventions and had the occasional night at a B & B. Those times allow us to recharge our collective battery- the one that keeps our home and family running smoothly- and remember why we married and had children to begin with! It was even on one of these weekends that we decided our family should grow to 5 from our national-average size of 4.

From week to week, however, we rarely find time for dates. This is merely the fault of our schedules as musicians, which require many weekend and evening rehearsals and events. We protect our family dinners together and sometimes go out to dinner as a family, but our dates happen only every 2-3 months. This is something I’d love to work on improving, but it will take a lot of planning in advance. It’s simply a matter of prioritizing.

I have known couples that take dates often, and other couples who don’t ever get a sitter. I think it is important for our children to see us putting time and effort into Mommy-Daddy time, showing them that our marriage, the origin of our family and a covenant with God, is high on our list of priorities. It is something well worth investing time and money in to provide an example for our children.

What about you? What does your vacation and date time look like? If you’d like to post on your blog about this topic, come back and add your link. Otherwise, leave your thoughts in the comment section.

Blessings on your marriage!